A performer's perspective.

Actress Maryam Hamidi, writes about her experiences as she prepares for her role in ‘Betrayed’.

As we reach our final week of rehearsals and tech week, more than ever I'm trying to absorb all the research that we have been building over the past month.

Like many people I went along with the assumption that Saddam was evil but the war in Iraq was wrong. This wasn’t because I had researched it personally, but because we seemed to be reaching a moral consensus...particularly people of my generation without ties to those in the military or a memory of Britain at war in the latter part of last century.

But as I read through the research pack that dramaturg Pamela McQueen gave us on day one, I had the feeling that this response was simply too obvious. Things cannot be this bad in Iraq! It’s the media that paints this gloomy picture of life after the fall of Saddam. Where are the
stories of hope and faith. What are the other dimensions of this conflict? Was a period of chaos necessary to the process of 'democracy building'? Or has the incompetence of the republican regime
of the US irrevocably destabilised this country?

I was born in neighbouring Iran and have always been fascinated by the multiple and subtle layers of dictatorship and control of the general populace. Where does the bar of what is acceptable sit? For
many the crimes of Saddam in Iraq were life changing...but for some in Iraq they were part of a bigger picture. Living in fear meant that the country operated in relative peace and efficiency (as long as the strict rules were adhered to!). It was the West's sanctions of the 90's that degraded the top class hospitals and factories.

Most Iraqi's perception of their country was moulded by state propaganda to the extent that this was the only democracy that they knew. America – the 'great Satan' - is the outside villain who can in symbolism be credited for galvanising insurgency during the war but also for the support of Saddam before it. The occupation of the coalition forces has represented the outside threat that the few, who can benefit from a weak Iraq, have preyed on.

The role of women in Iraqi society has also been a key issue for me as I am playing the only female role in Betrayed. The effect on women of growing Sunni/Shia violence in Iraq has been frightening. Thirty years ago Iraqi women had levels of freedom not dissimilar to women in the western world. How this has regressed into women being kidnapped, raped and murdered for not wearing hijab highlights just how chaotic things have become in Iraq. I read somewhere this week that you can measure levels of democracy in different countries by their treatment of women and gay people. This is somewhat 2 dimensional but it did make me think about the country that Iraq is becoming. Destabilised government and Sunni/Shia confrontation has snowballed regressive values very quickly...possibly one of the most frightening results of the war.


All this grappling for power topples the leadership but fails to consider the effects of this on government, laws, decision making, industry and economy. As if nobody realised that things would be messy if you wiped out a whole system of government!

I feel like I know Iraq well now...but the stories of hope and faith are still lined with a hint of fear and risk. But I'm glad they're there. Betrayed has been written by a journalist, not a playwright. There's
something quite special and un-theatrical about the interaction of the Iraqi interpreters with one another when they are alone. They talk about their dreams, some dream of living in Europe and others of doing amazing things in their own country.

It's hard to research something that is still happening. It will never tell you how people continue to find a way of living: of marrying, having kids, dreaming, praying. Now that the shock of war has worn off and an unstable Iraq has become normal for a great many. Life just seems to go on with violence swirling all around it.